


Haikyuu!! x Reader

by adelineTM



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Blood, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Injury, Medical Conditions, Nosebleed, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Smut, tags are a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24023494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelineTM/pseuds/adelineTM
Summary: Will post both NSFW & SFW
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader, Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Comments: 22
Kudos: 285





	1. Princess - Oikawa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no sex, but it's still a bit steamy. Enjoy my first Haikyuu fanfic!

This is an important match for him and for his team. This is when it will be decided if they play against Shiratorizawa or submit to the slowly growing power that Karasuno has gotten recently. So why is he hidden in a corner where no one could find him, hands traveling all over her body while she's squirming in his arms instead of warming up with the rest? Oikawa squeezes her ass with his large and calloused palms, having them under her skirt and places wet kisses all over her collarbone, neck and shoulder. Her smell in driving him insane.

"T-Toru, the match will start soon" (Name) tries to bring him back to Earth, gently pushing him away, but his hands travel upwards, going under her T-shirt and bra.

"Let me touch you more, _please_ ", he whispers in a hoarse voice and sends a wave of pleasure and arousal down to her cunt. And his erection poking at her thigh through his short is not helping.

He pinches her nipples and covers her mouth with his own, so if someone passes by, they won't hear her moans. Those are sounds that only he is allowed to hear, his name is the only one she's allowed to say softly in his ear while he touches her. He wants to slip his tongue inside her mouth and taste her more, but that means risking to be caught.

He doesn't remember how they got here, Oikawa just saw her and wanted a kiss from his girlfriend, away from the eyes of his teammates and fan girls. But as their kiss grew more heated, he couldn't stop himself. He usually gets very needy around her and all the stress that's now on his shoulders is making him want (Name) even more than ever.

His lips separate from hers and he lifts her skirt, kneeling in front of her, aligning his face with her pussy. (Name)'s whole face is red, while he smirks back at her with mischief and lust in his brown eyes. He nuzzles his face in her soaked underwear, smelling the scent of her arousal and shoves the material that's covering her sex aside, exposing it. Oikawa licks his lips and is prepare to place his hot mouth over her dripping pussy when he hears Iwaizumi calling for him.

"Where the fuck are you? The match is about the start, you piece of shit! Stop being horny and come out!" The captain cusses under his breath and waits for his friend to leave, not moving a single muscle. Even though he doesn't want to stop, he gets up and hugs her tightly.

"I'm sorry we have to end it here, princess. I promise I'll make up for it by winning"

"Don't put too much stress on yourself, dumbass" (Name) says and fixes her clothes, trying to look decent after her intense make out session with the guy that all the girls in their school love. The only one that knows about their relationship is Iwaizumi, when he caught the two of them in a _very_ compromising position a while ago. He said that he wouldn't tell anyone, mostly because he doesn't want to remember what he saw that day.

"You don't have to win because of me", she cups his face with her small hands; it's a miracle that she can reach him, despite the obvious height difference, "I'll still love you and be by your side even if you don't win".

"But if we lose, Iwa-chan is going to hit me" he pouts, sounding like a child and (Name) asks herself: 'why him?' for the umpteenth time in their relationship. But the thought is quickly dismissed and replace by 'why me?' as she stares back at him with a sad expression. Why would a guy like him date her? The 'Great King' could have anyone lying at his feet, but he chose her out of all the pretty, beautiful, sexy girls that surround him every day.

"I love you", Oikawa says, placing a soft kiss on her forehead like he was reading her mind. "I love you so much, princess". She rolls her eyes, but doesn't say anything, just blushes madly at his words. (Name) hears him giggle and raises his eyes to look up at him, finding the same intensity in his eyes like he is about to devour her again.

"Come on, time to go, King. You don't want to disappoint your fans". It seems like he wants to protest, but Iwaizumi calls after him again -well, yells- and that's the cue to leave. Oikawa presses his lips one more time on hers and rushes out from the hiding spot after saying:

"I'll see you after so we can finish what we started here. Cheer on for me"

She stays still, listening to her surroundings. If she goes out now, there might be a change that his teammates came looking for him too. And since their relationship is kind of secret, kind of not, (Name) doesn't want to end up the new subject of gossiping.

"What were you doing?" Iwaizumi asks, but the brown-haired doesn't get to answer because he speaks again. "Actually, never mind, I don't want to know. Let's go, you horny bastard". (Name) hears their footsteps growing quieter and quieter until they are gone. She exhales loudly and checks herself one more time-hiding the hickeys on her neck with a scarf-before heading to the tribune to see the match from there. She'll be surrounded by his fans, talking about him and would rather avoid this interaction, but knows how much it means for him. His last girlfriend broke up with him because he was too obsessed with volleyball so that became a fear of his. So that's why, when (Name) said that she would come to see the match, he got all excited and trained more to be able win.

On her way, she passes by the bathroom and remembers the tube of red lipstick that's in her bag. She didn't put it on as she knew that her boyfriend would jump on her as soon as he sees her-not in the literal way, but it actually happened-but he won't do it, in front of everyone, after the match, so why not? She (Name) enters the small room, finding ton of girls readjusting their makeup. She already knows what they're talking about so she glides the tube fast on her lips, corrects the mistakes and gets out without engaging in their conversation. She sits in the front row, luckily his fans didn't occupy it yet. Oikawa notices her immediately and looks up at her, as he was waiting for her to arrive all this time. He waves at her while the team give his looks.

And before she knows it, the match ends with Aobajohsai being the winner. The other team looks destroyed and (Name) feels bad about them, but at the same time, her boyfriend won. Her very hot looking boyfriend with sweat dripping down his face... Her boyfriend that winks at her when they have to thank the supporters-wait, what? Is he an idiot?! Everyone sees that, but he makes an even bolder move: blows a kiss towards her, not affected by how everyone is looking at him.

His fans surround him after they get out of the gym, asking for pictures with him and praising him on his performance, but his brown orbs lock with her (color) ones and that sends a shiver down her spine, as a burning fire is readable in them.

"I'm sorry, but someone is already waiting for me". Oikawa passes by them, seeing only her in front of his eyes, like a light was illuminating her small figure. The moment he saw that intense color on her lips, his senses went out of control. Luckily, Iwaizumi was able to make him concentrate on the match. "I can't wait to ruin that lipstick when we get back. And also, your tight pussy", he whispers, his hot breathing hitting her cold ear makes the hairs on her neck stand up. He kisses her cheek and rushes to where his teammates are waiting for him since they have to go and change from their uniforms.

Did he do that... _in front of everyone?_ Oh fu-when she turns around, people are staring at her, the guys that they played against are there as well! Her face gets as red as the color on her lips and turning on her heels, she runs from there, embarrassed about the whole situation, especially about his _words_.

"Why did you do something like that, dumbass?" Iwaizumi scolds him as soon as they get to the lockers. Nobody says anything, they just listen to the conversation between their captain and vice-captain.

"But you said that I should stop keeping her hidden!" Oikawa pouts again, taking off his shirt.

"And since when do you listen to me? And I didn't mean it like that!" He throws a water bottle at his friend.

"(Name) made a sad face again today. Something was really bothering her so I thought that would cheer her up"

"You being considered about other's feelings is really scaring me"

"Stop being so mean to me, Iwa-chan!"

"Fine then", Iwaizumi looks at him with a serious expression, "Take good care of your _princess_ ". The dark-haired boy says, trying not to laugh while pronouncing the last word. Oikawa frowns, but quickly gets changed, as he knows that someone is waiting for him at home.

He has to buy condoms after the meeting at school. And maybe something sweet while he's at the convenience store. (Name) deserves a treat for helping, as he put much more effort into winning after seeing her there, being a supportive girlfriend. And for his princess, he will do anything. That's how much Oikawa loves (Name).


	2. Eyes on me [Smut] - Kuroo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something spicy for my husband because I love him

After losing the match against Aobajousai, everyone's mood in the Karasuno team was down, buried deep in the ground. They were mad at themselves so all they could do now is to train harder for the Spring Interhigh and win there. Win. Win. **_Win_**. For the 3rd years. For their pride. They have to, losing again is out of the question. This will be the decisive tournament. That's what brought them to Tokyo for the Training Camp, where they'll have to play against a few of the so-called powerhouses: Nekoma, Fukurodani, Ubugawa, and Shinzen. But the day starts in a weird way, as both Kageyama and Hinata are still back in Miyagi and also—

"They now have a cute one and a pretty one!" Yamamoto screams in defeat, sinking to his knees as he sees both Kiyoko and Yachi. Tanaka appears out of nowhere and laughs at his friend, until he gets up, clenching his fist in the air. The dramatic scene is too much, so the girls decide to back away so that the two idiots can talk alone.

"Don't be so cocky! We have a manager too now!" Tanaka opens wide his eyes and then starts clapping, but hears a new voice behind him and turns around to see the two managers talking to another unknown girl.

"I hope that Yamamoto didn't scare you; he's really harmless, I promise!" She's dressed in gym attire, black T-shirt and red sweatpants and she's smiling sweetly at them. "Let me show you around. I'm (Full name), Nekoma's team manager" They leave, still talking and the two friends lock eyes with each other, staring intensely.

"She's sexy and cute at the same time." Tanaka says in a monotone face and Yamamoto nods.

"But there is only one problem. _She's our captain's girlfriend._ " They are both on the ground, holding their knees to their chest, a depressed looming aura over their heads. Nishinoya finds them and after asking what's up with them, he joins them, sitting in the same position.

"Why do you have those faces?" When they look up, they meet the hazel colored eyes of Kuroo and immediately jump from the ground, afraid of saying something stupid in front of the captain.

As the training is about to start, the managers join the rest in the gym, carrying water bottles for their teams. Everyone's attention is suddenly on (Name) and Kiyoko, so when the girls begin talking, sitting in a corner, away from the stray balls, they all listen.

"You've been the manager of the team for short while, right?" Yukie from Fukurōdani Academy asks her.

"Yeah, last one didn't find a new girl to replace her. I'm doing this just to help Kuroo, but there are a lot of things I don't understand so I'm more of a nuisance for him and for the boys. I'm currently looking for someone to replace me after we finish high-school."

"I'm sure that Kuroo-san doesn't see you like that." The other team manager, Kaori, says, patting her lightly on the back. "You're being a supportive girlfriend for him." (Name) blushes and laughs, turning her attention to her boyfriend as they are about to start playing.

 _"A goddess"_ , that's what the others are thinking after hearing the conversation, while Tanaka, Noya and Yamamoto are whipping tears from their eyes. But this doesn't go unnoticed by Nekoma's captain. He'll have a way to punish his team later on. As for the rest, he'll beat each team today.

Kuroo turns on his heels, walking towards the group of girls with a straight face, eyeing his prey. He grabs the collar of his red hoodie—that for some reason he still has on—with his teeth and pulls the zipper all the way down while marching towards (Name). As soon as he gets in front of her, he throws his hoodie on her.

"Hey! I'm not your personal hanger!" (Name) says while removing the clothing article to see, frowning as she meets his big grin.

"It's rude to stare." He places a kiss on her cheek and dashes back to the court, happy about his accomplishment. Blood is rushing to her face, making her turn as red as the jacket in her hands as she notices that everyone was watching them, including the coaches. And for her, _oh_ , he has a _special_ type of punishment.

•••

(Name) can't fall asleep, mostly because Tanaka's sister started snoring after she came back from drinking with the teachers. She tries covering her ears with her pillow, but the sound is still loud. And she can't bring herself to wake up the older woman, as she's probably tired for driving all the way to Tokyo. So, the only thing that's left to do is to go and get her iPod from the lockers, plug in the headphones and then sleep. She picks up her phone, checking the time. Eleven in the night. Everyone is probably asleep by now so he has to be very careful and quiet. (Name) picks up Kuroo's jacket and puts it on, since the night is pretty chilly in Tokyo and it's the only thing she has at hand. She opens slowly the door of the classroom the two are sleeping in and tiptoes all the way out of the school and then walks normally to the locker rooms.

Luckily for her, she encountered no teacher and didn't wake anyone up so now she has to search in her bag for the device and return in the same manner. As soon as she opens the zipper, (Name) hears the door opening and turns around in a heartbeat, panic rushing through her body. Let it not be a teacher, otherwise she'll be dead. When she meets cat-shaped eyes and the grin on his face at her scared expression, she exhales, relieved.

"You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing up at this hour? You should be sleeping, you have another hard day tomorrow", she says and returns to rummaging for what she came for in the first place. "Are you going to answer me—" as soon as she finishes saying those words, Kuroo spins her around and slams her on another closed locker. " Hey!" (Name) looks up at him and notices how dark his eyes are, blown with lust.

"I'm having a hard time sleeping and I thought about relieving some stress" (Name)'s face starts burning and getting flustered again, knowing very well what his words mean.

"T-Then I'll leave you alone"

"Oh no, _kitten_. You are not going anywhere." His head dunks down, resting on her shoulder, as he inhales her scent, combined with his own on her skin. "Do you know how hard it was for me to see all those idiots staring and talking about you?" He places a kiss on her neck and instantly sinks his teeth in her skin, sucking on the spot to make a hickey visible for anyone. She moans, grabbing his black T-shirt with her hands, trying to push him away, but he grabs her by the writs and pins them above her head. Pulling his head up, he looks at the mark he left and grins, satisfied with his work. "And the fact that you are wearing my jacket makes me want to mess you up even more"

"K-Kuroo..." she calls his name softly, "Someone might come in." But this doesn't faze him, instead his smirk gets even bigger and he leans closer to her again.

"During training camp, you're not supposed to go near the locker room if the light is on in the middle of the night. It's means that it's _occupied_ " being so close to her ear, he whispers, "I can have all the fun I want with you now"

Kuroo places his hand flat against her stomach and dives down, straight into her underwear, fingers slowly making circles on her clit. (Name) mewls at the contact and he presses his lips again on hers, taking advantage of her open mouth to shove his tongue inside.

"Fuck, you are already so wet" he says between kisses, voice hoarse, and the grip on her wrists gets tighter. Kuroo pulls out his hand, dragging down her sweatpants and underwear in a single move, exposing her heated skin to the cold air of the locker room, making her shiver.

He waits no more and shoves two of his fingers inside her dripping cunt. He starts thrusting them in and out at a fast speed, grinning at her muffled moans as (Name) is biting hard on her lower lip to keep herself from being too loud. For someone like Kuroo who is usually a big teaser, to being so eager and forceful; (Name) wants to makes a sly remark, but her vision is starting to fade away as she feels her orgasm approaching.

"Kuroo" she looks up at him, half lidded eyes, "Put it in, please"

"Your greedy pussy isn't satisfied with just my fingers?" He replies, moving them faster, eliciting a loud moan from the girl under him. "Beg me more, kitten." Ah, there he is.

"Testuro, p-please, please fuck me already" and that breaks him completely. He lets go of (Name), hands reaching to pull down his own sweatpants and underwear, revealing his cock, already glistering with precum. The sight of his member is always breath taking, how something so big can fit inside her. Kuroo puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a condom. He looks straight into her eyes as he rips the package with his white teeth. He draws it over his length and removes all the clothing from her lower half, throwing them on the ground. He picks her up, calloused hand holding her against the locker and (Name) instinctively wraps her legs around his hips. Kuroo positions himself in front of her entrance, rubbing her pussy with his hard cock.

"Say my name like that again, kitten"

"Tetsuro—oh fuck aah, _Tetsuro_ " Kuro buries himself to the hilt in one swift move, groaning as he feels the wetness and warmth of her core welcoming him inside. He pulls back and slams his cock back inside, his forehead resting against hers. Her eyes are screwed shut, only her mouth is hanging open, loud pants and choked moans coming from her sore throat.

"Eyes on me, (Name)" her name rolls off his tongue in a low voice, goosebumps appearing all over her skin. "Take a good look at who's fucking you so good. You are mine, all of you is mine. Those idiots can only dream about your pussy, but I'm the only one that's allowed to taste it" a hard thrust, "to finger it" another one, "and to fuck it." (Name) moans at his words and at his merciless rhythm, feeling how harsh he's hitting her G-spot. But the pain is lost to pleasure and to the approach of her orgasm, so she shots her eyes open, meeting Kuroo's large grin and eyes filled with lust and hunger. "You are mine, you understand?"

"Yes. yes, I'm yours, I'm yours, Tetsuro. _Oh fuck,_ I'm cumming!" She yells, biting on her lower lip again, eyebrows furrowed, eyes teary. But the dark-haired boy licks his lips.

"Cum on my cock, babygirl"

"Tetsuro, I love you—ah!" Kuroo feels her tightening around him like a vice, and even though he's wearing a condom, he cums as well in hot white ropes, filling up the condom. He gives her pussy a few languid thrusts to milk himself completely. They stay in the same position for a short while, catching their breaths until Kuroo lowers her down, her butt making contact with the cold floor as he pulls out.

"I love you too" he says breathless, placing a kiss on her sweaty forehead. "I haven't cum so much in a long time" Kuroo removes the condom and throws on the ground after making a knot at the end of it.

"I can't believe you got this jealous"

"I wasn't jealous! I just hate when people look at you"

"Then you are jealous" (Name) tries to get up from the ground, but it's violently pushed on flat on her stomach. Her ass in lifted in the air and slapped hard by Kuroo's big and calloused palm.

"Oh, I am not done with you, kitten" he informs, pulling another condom from his pocket, keeping it between his teeth as he watches her like he had caught the biggest prey of his life. She turns to eye him over her shoulder, shocked at how much energy he can still have in him. Yeah, he was an athlete, but they played volleyball all day long, plus the punishments after losing. This is going to be a long, tiresome and restless night.

•••

"He overdid it again" Kenma says in a low voice, with no expression in it, watching his captain trying to start a conversation with his girlfriend, only to be ignored or glared at. Ironically, he looks like a lost puppy, trailing after her like that.

"What makes you say that, Kenma?" Bokuto asks.

"She's wearing his hoodie, all zipped up, even though it's so hot outside. Kuroo was mad yesterday that people were staring at her so he must have done something stupid. And... I've also... heard them" he lowers his head, still trying to forget the events of last night. He only wanted to check where his friend was, but ended up witnessing something that scarred him for life. Bokuto and Akaashi open wide their eyes, and the first one starts laughing hysterically, slapping his knee.

"I'm sure they'll make up soon" Akaashi says, watching them.

"I told you to piss off! I'm still mad at you!" They turn to see her screaming and hitting her boyfriend with a ball straight in his face.

**_Or not._ **


	3. Ghosts of the past [1] - Tsukishima

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I've tried writing at 2nd person again. The last time was years ago, damn. 

Nobody saw it coming. Your hand moved on its own, the rage and sadness dictating your actions. As soon as your palm hit his cheek, you kind of started to regret it. Tsukishima looks up at you, your sudden move knocking him to the ground. His eyes are wide open, while your jaw is clenched, tears rolling down your face. You both crossed the line.

"Why do you keep saying that this is just a club! How can you be so insensible towards your teammates!" You yell at him. After the blond said to Kageyama that he and Hinata are overworking themselves for something so lame as a high-school club when they criticized Tsukishima's blocking, your blood started to boil in your veins and without any self-control, you jumped and slapped him hard against the face. After losing to Seijou, everyone was in a bad mood, but at the same time training harder than usual. That's why they are going to Tokyo, tonight, to train with their rival, the Nekoma High-school, and other high-schools from the city.

Before anyone can approach you, you run away from the gym, so that no one could see you being a bigger mess than you already are. He's still on the ground, still not understanding how you moved so fast and so precise without him noticing.

"I'll go after her" Kiyoko says and Ukai nods, looking as shocked as everyone else. When the team manager first introduced you as the girl that's going to replace her, everyone saw you as a quiet, but funny girl. Surprisingly, you knew a lot about volleyball already. That made her job easier, since she didn't have to teach you everything. She didn't have to look for a replacement since you came to request the role yourself .

"Let's stop practice for today. We are leaving tonight anyway. Tsukishima, are you okay?"

"Yeah..." he says distantly, getting up. His cheek stings like a ball had hit him in the face, not your little palm. For him it's little, considering that you are very short, compared to him. Kiyoko returns after a few moments, without you.

"(Name) said that she doesn't feel good and went home. But she'll be here when we leave tonight." She turns her head in Tsukishima's direction, frowning slightly at him. "You should be more careful with your words around the others." That's all she says, being probably the first time she scolds someone. This is another shocking event that takes place, soon after your outburst.

"Oh, the pleasure to have Kiyoko-san scolding you. Kiyoko-san, scold us too, please!" Tanaka says, bowing down.

"No." That's all she says, before leaving the gym again to go and change from her sport attire.

"Tsukishima, you are such a lucky guy" Nishinoya says, patting him on the back. But he doesn't feel 'lucky', he's actually embarrassed about the whole situation. Two girls called him out on his behavior today and one of them hit him so hard that he fell on the ground. This is so _lame_ of him. And he knows it. He knows that he pushed too far. He knows that despite your smart look and calm nature, you can be—actually, are—as chaotic as Hinata or Nishinoya. But to be this forceful and to break down like that over a simple sentence... that made him feel _awful_ , probably for the first time in his life.

 _Fuck_ , when did he started having a _crush_ on you?

Lame, lame, _lame_.

When you meet each other in front of the bus, you don't say a word to him, you just hug Hinata and wish him and Kageyama the best on their tests. There is still a mark on his face, but nobody makes further comments. You smile softly as Sugawara asks you if you are feeling better and after nodding, you get inside.

When you reach Tokyo, the Nekoma's team is already at the gates, waiting for the arrival of their rivals. What wakes you up from your sleep is the familiar hyena laugh that you hear after Tanaka and Nishinoya see the 'Skytree'. You could recognize that one anywhere.

 _"I am home"_ , you tell yourself, getting out of the vehicle. Even the air here feels different from Miyagi. Home, where you've left all your dreams, friends, **failures**... At the sight of you, Kuroo opens wide his eyes, and even rubs them, in a somehow mockingly way, to make sure that he's not seeing a ghost. He knew that you were coming. But he still chose to be an asshole about it.

"Stop giving me that look. I texted you when we left" you put one hand on your hip, looking at him with a disgusted face.

"I was thinking that you are shorter that I remember you being. 'That can't be (Name), (Name) is taller than that girl'" he teases you, a toothy grin spread wide on his face.

"Very funny, Tetsuro. _So_ funny." you smack him hard against the back of his head "It's not my fault that you never stop growing! Soon you'll be as tall as the Skytree itself!" He sticks his tongue out, once again proving how mature he is for a captain _and_ a 3rd year.

"Hey, hey, let's not fight" Kai intervenes between you two, a soft smile on his face. "I'm glad to see you again, (Name)." Despite being shorter than his captain, you still struggle to hug Kai, but he returns the gesture nonetheless. You quickly pull apart, shooting Kuroo a glare, and start walking towards the school building, eager to find the rest of your old friends.

"Wait, I don't get a hug?" Kuroo yells after you, but you don't stop your steps, instead, you yell back at him:

"After I find Yaku and Kenma, you'll get your hug"

Your own team stares at your figure, completely dumbfound by the interactions between you, a 1st year, and Nekoma's students. But Tsukishima feels pure jealousy, and he fucking knows it, as you've never given him that type of smile, let alone a hug. Of course, his interactions with you were limited, besides giving him a water bottle, a towel or advice from time to time, you haven't really talked much with each other. He sees you in class all the time, and he still cannot understand why he started having a crush on you, despite all the people around him!

It probably started in Art class, when you had to team up with someone and draw a portrait of each other. Since Yamaguchi was sick at home, he had no other partner than you, that were also alone. It was just for a moment, when he looked up at you again for a reference, as the sun was reflecting on your face, casting long shadows of your lashes on your cheeks, and he felt his heart throb at the sight of you, glowing like that. And when you presented yourself as the new manager of the team, he was both happy and stressed. What if he messed up in front of you? When did he stared to care about how you think of him? _Lame_ , again.

•••

"(Name) has something to do with that bruise on your face, right, Megane-kun?" Kuroo asks as they finish another late practice game in the third gym.

"Huh? Your manager hit you? But she's such a soft girl!" Bokuto intervenes, as he finishes drinking from his water bottle.

"Since you two are so close, I supposed that she told you so I don't have to answer the question" The blonde says with venom on his tongue. For the past few days, besides giving him a water bottle or a towel, your interaction with him were non-existent. You laughed with Hinata, Nishinoya or Tanaka, talked a lot with Nekoma's captain and with a few of their third years, even with Yamaguchi you had a few conversations here and there, but none, _none_ , with him. And yeah, _maybe_ you have a good reason to be mad at him, but he is still pissed. And jealous, oh so jealous.

"Oh, are you jealous of me, Megane-kun?" Kuroo asks, grinning from ear to ear. Tsukishima turns to look at him, giving him a stoic look. There's no way he'll let this rooster hair mock him like that.

"Why would Tsukishima be jealous?" Hinata butts in. _'Why does he have to be here too?'_

"Because Megane-kun here is in love with her" Hinata opens wide both his mouth and eyes and keeps shaking his head to look at Tsukishima or at Kuroo. Hinata was already annoying on his own, but this—He won't let the captain get the last laugh so in the most bored voice he says:

"Kuroo-san, please stop assuming things about me that aren't true" He picks up his towel and bottle, ready to head out. "If you excuse me"

"She was a volleyball player. You saying that this is _just_ a club means that all her hardworking, the efforts of your team to improve are nothing more than just a children's play" Tsukishima turns around and finds the black-haired guy having a serious expression on his face, probably for the first time since he has known him. "You and Hinata go to rest. I'll clean up here with Bokuto and Akaashi"

"But if she was a volleyball player, why did she quit?" Hinata asks. The blonde wants to know too, but he would have never asked Kuroo. He's already rubbing it in his face that he knows you better than anyone.

"You'll have to ask her that. Now go"

As they reach the classroom they sleep in, everyone notices the still shocked expression on the ginger's face.

"What's wrong Hinata Do you feel sick?" Sugawara asks him, getting closer to check if he was feeling sick.

"Kuroo-san told us... that (Name) was..." His words get stuck in his throat. Should he tell his team about you? If you kept it a secret for so long, it's maybe something that you don't want to talk about or have it spread to your team by someone else.

"A volleyball player" You say, sitting in the door frame with your arms crossed over your chest. As everyone looks at you, they notice that your expression it's not mad, as they expected it to be... You look sad, like you are about to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for part 2 when we find out what happened to our dear (Name) and why she quit volley. I had a friend help me with it, so thank you, love♥ even though you are not reading this.
> 
> This is my first a/n so hi! I hope that you liked my one-shots so far. Sadly, sometimes I get a lot of ideas for a fic and I split it into multiple chapters so you won't have to read a 3k words one. But I can't promise that I'll do that every time so I'm saying sorry in advance.
> 
> ALSO! Please check out my other xReader story with Ushijima called 'Lead wings'. I already have a lot of ideas for it and I've been working non-stop on new chapters. I know that I have other JoJo related stories that we're never finished, but I promise that I'll stick to complete this one.


	4. Heart of Glass [1] - Sakusa x Reader

There's nothing new happening at the training camp. Balls are being tossed and spiked, points are scored, shoes are squeaking against the hardwood floor. There are a few days left and after that, everyone returns to their own teams, hopefully changed by this experience.

There's nothing that can break the loud silence until... _something does_.

The door of the gym opens wide and two girls step inside, panting. Their faces are red and full of sweat, but the terrified expressions are what attracts the attention of the two male coaches.

"What's the matter?" Fuki Hibarida asks, concerned. The boys stopped playing as soon as the door was flung open in the violent way. They are now paying attention to the conversation.

"Coach, (Last name)-san is—!" She says between deep gasps of air. Immediately the two adults realize what's wrong. Their colleague didn't feel well today so she let the girls in the care of the two men. But she was very specific about what they had to do.

_'There's a special girl here. Please check up on her from time to time and make sure that she doesn't burn herself out'_

They rush out of the gym, followed behind by the two girls. The boys look at each other, not knowing what to do.

"We should go and see what's up. It seems serious," Atsumu says and they all agree. Well, Sakusa doesn't, but the blonde setter drags him along. The last thing he wants right now is to be in a room full of sweaty people that have touched all the same ball and none of them had taken a shower or had at least washed their hands.

Itachiyama's ace is the last one that steps inside the gym. It was like you had a sensor, because you turn around and lock eyes with him for a few seconds just as he enters. Your vision was cloudy, he could tell by how you were looking at him. Your face is all red and sweaty, and you're breathing heavily while sitting down on the floor. The coach crouches down to your level and then blood starts dripping out of your nose.

"Did someone call the ambulance?" He asks, turning to the volleyball players around him.

"Y-Yes, I did! It should arrive soon," a timid voice speaks.

"(Name)-san, here," someone hands you a tissue, but as you try to reach it, your hand is trembling like it's freezing cold in here so she wipes your face herself. The girl has short, black hair, bowl cut and a sweet expression as she helps you.

Sakusa Kiyoomi has a pretty clear idea about who you are. He heard people talking in the dining room about you and the whispers reached his ears as well. Though, looking at you, in this pathetic state, he can't really see the player that people said you were.

(Full name), Niiyama Girls' High's setter, listed as the top high school setter in 'Monthly volleyball'. He knows that you are a 2nd year there and are what some might consider a 'prodigy', though you never pronounced yourself as one.

_What caused the mighty setter to look like this?_

Soon, two paramedics step inside and immediately get to you, realizing that you were the one they got the call for. The lady touches your forehead to check if you have fever, but immediately notices your uneven breath. She grabs the stethoscope from the bag and tries to lift your shirt, but you grab her by the hand.

"D-Don't," is all you can mutter. Sakusa finally notices that you look different from the other players in what comes to clothes. While the others are wearing shorts and T-shirts, you have leggings and a long-sleeved, tight blouse. And over these two pieces you have the pair of shorts and the T-Shirt. _You look out of place._

"I'm sorry, it's a weird request, but can you please not lift her shirt while the others are here?" The medic looks at the girl that offered you the tissue earlier and then back at you.

"As you wish. Can someone help me move her to another room? I need to do some check-ups on her," she looks around and her eyes land on Sakusa. "You, in yellow. You look like a strong young man. Come here and help me, please"

Sakusa would've normally refused to touch another sweaty and downright _filthy_ human being, but your life is on the line here, or so he assumes since there was the need for the ambulance to be called.

He approaches you with slow steps and gets down to pick you up. Scooping you from the ground and holding you in his arms like a bride, he hears the loud heartbeats. It is like your heart is a ticking bomb, ready to explode.

He follows the lady and the other man that's with her to the locker rooms and places you down on one of the benches.

"Thank you, that would be all. You can return back to practice now," she gives him a sweet smile and Sakusa leaves the room at the same time as someone else enters and almost collides with him.

"Ah! I'm sorry," she apologizes quickly. "I'm Amanai Kanoka. We're from the same high-school! Can I stay here with her?" The older woman turns to you and you nod.

The door closes behind him as he steps outside. He doesn't sit around to listen, that's not his business, so, he starts walking towards the gym. He knows, from personal experience, how fast a normal heart would beat after playing. But never, not even after 5 consecutively sets, he felt the same intense vibrations in his chest.

The rest of the day goes by in the same manner as before this incident. The paramedics came to the boys' gym at one point and talked only with the coaches and left afterwards. Everyone could tell that what they heard wasn't pleasant at all.

As Sakusa makes his way back to the locker rooms, wishing to take a bath in peace, eat and then go to sleep, without having to think any more about how hot your body was in his arms, _burning_ , about how you looked so small and fragile... he's violently pulled aside by someone and his mouth is covered before he can say something.

"Shh, Omi-kun," the blonde idiot speaks and Sakusa instantly thinks of jerking his hand away and killing him on the spot as well, until he hears a ball hitting the court, followed by a female grunt. Curiosity wins over him and he, together with the other three that were dragged here by Atsumu: Hoshiumi, Kageyama and even his own cousin, Komori, peek inside to see what's up.

You're now standing up on your own and in there with you is the girl that offered to stay by your side moments ago.

"Kanoka, that's enough," you speak in a commanding tone, hands crossed over your chest, but she doesn't seem to listen or to understand what you're asking her as she picks up another ball from the cart. Before she can serve, you walk up to her and grab the ball from her hand, throwing it back in the cart.

"Enough, I said, you're already tired from training, don't overwork yourself"

"Why..." she mumbles, and before you can ask her what she means, she goes on, with a strangled voice, on the verge of crying, "why aren't you mad?! How can you be so calm after what just happened? After what you've heard?!"

You show her a sad expression, walking away from her to pick up the scattered balls.

"It would do me no good to get worked up for something like this. You would need to call the ambulance again..." You throw the object that you've grabbed from the floor without looking back to where the cart is, but it lands perfectly in there.

"Even if I take it out on something, nothing will change. This is a medical condition, it's not a problem that easily solvable—" Kanoka comes from behind you with hope in her eyes.

"T-Then, why not remove the extra clothes that you are wearing? Your body—"

"There's nothing wrong with what I am wearing, _dear Kanoka_ ," you give her a sad smile and pat her head. "My heart here," you touch your chest, feeling your abnormal heartbeats, "is the problem; has always been and always will," retrieving the last ball, you walk towards the forgotten cart, actually placing this one in there gently. "I have my regrets, many, _way too many_ , but probably my biggest one is not being able to play with you at the nationals one more time"

"Wait, yer actually quitting?" Atsumu butts in, not giving a single fuck about the touching moment you two were having.

"For how long have you been there? All of you!"

"Since ya started talking," you glare at him. "Don't look at me like that! I was just curios to find out what happened to ya," you sigh.

"Pardon me for asking," Komori starts in a polite tone, "but you said that you had a medical condition, right?" You nod. At this point, everyone has gathered inside to hear your explanation.

"It's called tachycardia. My heart beats faster than a normal heart and I get dizzy and can't breathe very well. And before you ask me, is something both genetic and 'caused' by my own stupidity"

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Hoshiumi asks.

"Overworking, stress, anxiety, dru—" you stop before you finish the last word and clear your throat. **Sakusa doesn't miss this.** "Anyway, the last time something like today happened was a long time ago. The paramedic told me that if I keep playing, I would end up under the ground before I hit twenty. So, here you have it"

"Well, I guess it can't be helped then. It's not like yer quitting because you want to," Atsumu says.

"But it's quite admirable that you're doing it while keeping your head up and not falling into despair," Komori continues.

 _'No,'_ Sakusa thinks, _'she's keeping this strong aura because everyone is watching her. She doesn't want their pity or them saying 'oh, you poor thing, how unfortunate you are''._

"A-Ah, we forgot to introduce ourselves! I'm Komori Motoya from Itachiyama. This guy here is from the same school as me. He's our ace," He pushes Sakusa in front of you. The wing spiker looks down at you, but doesn't say anything.

"Yer supposed to introduce yerself, you mop head," Atsumu comments and Sakusa turns to glare at him.

"There's no need to, I already know who he is," you bow slightly in front of him. "Thank you for helping me today. I know that you don't like touching other people, that's why I appreciate what you did for me," the large smile you give him makes Sakusa's own heart skip a beat.

"You don't have to thank me. Your life was in d...danger," the curly-haired boy trips over the last word, having staring too deep into your (color) eyes; his cousin and Miya-fucking-Atsumu giggle behind him.

"Oi, you should clean up and go to eat," someone yells from the door and that concludes the end of this conversation. Hoshiumi and Kageyama introduce themselves as you walk towards the lockers and you and your friend do the same.

For the rest of the training camp, you and Sakusa don't cross paths again. You probably left, but he's surprised to see you in front of the Ajinomoto National Training Center with Kanoka, waiting for someone. You notice him and wave at him, but he doesn't return the gesture. His lovely relative is here to save the day, pulling his hand out of his pocket and making him wave at you, while he does the same thing with his own hand. You laugh as they depart.

He looks back at you one more time and sees you talking to Atsumu. Whatever, is not his business with whom you are talking to.

That night, after eating dinner with his parents, taking a long bath and finally making it to his own bed, Sakusa lies there, not being able to fall asleep. Komori teased him all the way to his front door about his 'crush' on you. He did admit to the libero that he finds you interesting, but nothing more than that.

Sakusa growls in exasperation, pushes the duvet away and gets up to grab his laptop from the desk. He enters your name in the search bar and clicks on the first video. Geez, what has he come to do...?

Is not because he has a crush on you, that's not it, _definitely;_ he just doesn't understand how can you be so cold towards what's happening. You actually looked relieved after the training camp ended. What's your deal? Is he maybe just too negative like Komori always says se he is?

 _Argh_ , screw his cousin for poisoning his mind with useless thoughts.

•••

Why is he in the stands, about to watch Niiyama's match, instead of enjoying the comfort of being away from the crowd? Oh, right, because _Miya Atsumu_ dragged his ass here. And of course, Hoshiumi and Komori backed up the blonde setter. _Great_. Still, you're not on court, he knows that as he saw Kanoka in the waiting hall, but you weren't anywhere to be seen.

"Miya-san?" Kageyama asks as the other four players take a sit, forcing Sakusa to sit down as well.

"Oh, Tobio-kun! Yer here to see Amanai-chan too?" The other setter answers affirmatively.

"Oh, who's this, Kageyama?" Tanaka asks with a fake smile.

"He's Miya Atsumu, Inarizaki's setter," the fake smile is returned by Atsumu as he shakes the wing spiker's hand.

"How do you know Kanoka, Miya-kun?" The exchange is filled to the brim with tension as they're still shaking hands, gripping tighter and tighter.

"We met at the training camp," Atsumu looks at the court and finally lets go of Tanaka's hand. "But she doesn't look that good today"

Kanoka is pale, absent-minded and is pacing around while biting on her thumb's nail. Tanaka sighs. As he opens his mouth to speak, someone almost knocks him over by rushing past him and bumping into him.

"Kanoka! You can do it, love! Show them what you're made of!" You yell at the top of your lungs and the girls turn around to find the source of the sound. When they see you, they start smiling at waving at you.

"(Name)?"

"Ah, Ryu! Kanoka told me that she encountered you on the first day. Look at you, you've changed so much. You no longer have hair, to begin with," Tanaka laughs at your remark. You're dressed in civil: long coat, jeans and boots, a scarf wrapped around your neck; everything keeping your body hidden, no patch of skin left to be seen.

"You too! The last time I saw you, you were taller than me!" The rest watch you two talk, nobody wanting to interrupt. "I've heard what happened. How do you feel?" He speaks gently now. Surprisingly, Tanaka's not tripping over his words or getting flustered.

"Well, how would anyone in my position should feel like?"

"R-Right"

"Here you are," someone says behind you, gasping for air. "Why did you run away like that? The doctor said—"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going to stay here with some friends, you can wait for me outside or over there"

"Umm, sure. Text me if you need something"

"You're my brother, not my caretaker. Now go, shoo," the male starts walking away, mumbling something under his breath about you being ungrateful. The referee blows the whistle so you take your sit in the front row, next to Tanaka.

"Oh, you guys are here too. Hi," you wave at Sakusa, smiling sweetly, but he only says a small 'hello', and Komori hits him in the side.

During the match, nobody says anything, they just watch in silence. The other setter of your team tosses the ball to Kanoka. It seems like she won't be able to score, but it hits the block and bounces off limits.

"She hesitated," you suddenly speak up, "the setter. Judging by the position of her feet and also by her handling, it was a fifty-fifty chance of failure. If she were 10 centimeters away from the net and tossed the ball 30 degrees upper, Kanoka would've been able to do a feint, as she likes to do in the middle of the game," they all stare at you with wide eyes. "What?" You ask.

"Nothing, it's just... your accuracy is quite terrifying," your childhood friend answers.

"I've been a setter my whole life. I know my spikers and their habits like the back of my hand. The current setter is a third year, but I've replaced her as soon as I joined the club. She initially was a pinch server so maybe that's why she's so disorientated and doesn't know how to use our girls to their full potential. They didn't have that much time to practice together after all"

"But why aren't you playing, (Name)-san?" Sugawara asks.

"Health problems. I was supposed to quit after the nationals, but," a sigh, "it happened sooner than expected as my condition worsened"

Niiyama wins with two consecutive sets. You get up, looking at the team in front of you with pride.

"Now, if you were to excuse me, I have to go and congratulate them myself," you wave at them as you leave the stands, walking down the stairs. The players outside Karasuno leave as well. There was nothing left for them to see anyway.

As they make it into the halls, they see the team, all in uniforms and jackets, around you. You stick out like a sore thumb, like you have always had, but this time, everything is different.

Sakusa saw that you cover your body in the same way, even on the actual court, but right now, this is like the **supreme rejection**. Not from your juniors or seniors, but from the sport itself, even from destiny. _You're not meant to be here._

As you walk away with the girls following you while you comment on their game, Sakusa makes his way back to his team with Komori. Something is irritating him, but he can't quite put his finger on it.

This is the last time Sakusa sees you, smiling, offering your kind expression to the others to admire, even though you looked sicker than at the training camp. In his last year of high-school, he doesn't see you coming to cheer for your team. Sakusa doesn't ask Kanoka about you, since they don't know each other that well, and if Komori knows something from her, he won't ask his cousin either.

What is the point in asking anyway? He has no real feelings for you; this silly crush, because he finally admitted that it was indeed a crush, goes away as soon as it came.

Until one day, _years later_ , he encounters you in the most unexpected place and time possible and is remembered why you've been on his mind all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey, hey! Long time no see! Hahaha, sorry for completely abandoning this work, I focused only and only on completing "Lead Wings" and I almost forgot that I have this xReader work as well.
> 
> This story with Sakusa was supposed to be a separate one, but I didn't get enough ideas to turn it into a bigger piece so I decided to make it a 3-4-part story. I will try to write the rest of the parts as soon as possible.
> 
> Regarding "Ghosts of the past", I started the second chapter a long time ago, back in May, but only wrote about 200 words and then abandoned it. Not sure when it will come out, stick around to find out, I guess. 


	5. Heart of Glass [2] - Sakusa x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will contain manga spoilers! Also, some of my own hcs might be included, can you spot them?👀 Read the end notes, please!

That night when Sakusa watched different videos of your style of playing, he realized the things about you that he wasn't able to understand before. He could tell right off the bat that you were an amazing setter: every step, toss, dump, _all of them were on spot_. Under the description of the first video he clicked on, it said that you received the "Best Setter" award two times, during middle school and the Interhigh, but couldn't find a recording of the ceremony.

That relieved expression, it looked like something was lifted off your shoulders when you were told to quit playing. And it was, and not only just one thing: the pain you felt, the stress of constantly thinking that you would have an attack in the middle of a match. You were free, but not really.

Sakusa could tell just by looking at your facial expressions when the cameraman would zoom in on you from time to time during the match. Probably ending your last match in high-school by not being able to stand up, while thousands and thousands of people were watching you live, wasn't the way you wanted to be remembered from then on. If your team were to lose because you had to be subbed out, you would blame yourself. But if they weren't able to work with the third-year setter, you would blame yourself again.

Sakusa is aware that this is how you feel. And not being able to do anything, just to watch from the sides... that might be eating you up from inside.

He also watched a video of you serving. They were only jump-floaters and weren't that tricky to receive, but what you lacked in serving, you made up for as a setter. He was sure that the Japan team had tried to recruit you, but you had to refuse because of your health problems.

He found himself wondering for how long had this been a problem for you and how came that you hadn't had died already. He thought of asking his parents, both medics, but they would start bombarding him with questions he didn't want to answer.

Sakusa hopes that the reason you didn't come in your last year of high-school at the nationals as a supporter was the total opposite of what some might think. Of course, if something bad, really bad, were to happen to you, he would instantly hear it from Komori or from Miya. The last time they played against each other, the blonde made sure to tease Sakusa for having a crush on you.

His "feelings" for you were over by then, or so he thought, because he could swear, he heard your voice from the stands, but you were nowhere to be seen as he tried to find you. He was so frustrated after the match, even though they won. Why did his heart starting to beat faster? Why did he feel a bit, just a bit happier that you were finally there?

Why? Why? Why? How did this crush even start in the first place? Just because you were fitting so perfectly in his arms didn't mean anything, just because he still felt how hot your body was, months later, didn't mean anything! _And yet—!_

After high-school, Sakusa went to college and had the misfortune of encountering there the person he never wanted to see again for as long as he was alive. The Miyas, yes, both of them, are now his roommates in the apartment they all three share in Tokyo. Osamu is the one responsible for feeding them, being the only way he can practice his skills between business management classes and cooking lessons.

Atsumu helps Sakusa clean and do the laundry. At first, the ace had to threaten him that he would kick him out due to the horrible smell that was coming from his room; the blonde has never seen Sakusa with such a terrifying aura before so now he's obeying without much struggle.

These are the good parts. As for the bad ones...

The twins fight almost daily on different subjects, Osamu calling Atsumu out on his bullshit and obvious lies. He became used to their bickering eventually; at this point it was considered background noise. What he can't get used to is Atsumu bringing home random girls and **being too fucking loud**. Atsumu even had _the audacity_ to ask Sakusa if he wanted him to introduce him to someone! The look of disgust was enough of an answer. He then dropped the subject, of course, not before mentioning you.

_2 years since moving in with the two idiots passed by in the blink of an eye._

They are out, shopping for food after classes and Atsumu's practice ended. They pass through a park because it was the fastest way to their apartment. The weather is nice, and things would've been better if the twins weren't fighting while walking.

"Oh, is that?" Atsumu breaks their argument, finding a familiar face sitting on the bench. "Kanoka-chan!" He yells and the girl turn to look at him. She opens wide her eyes and waves at him. They make their way towards her, noticing that she's not alone.

"Ah, Komori, Hirugami, hello!" The blonde salutes them. "What's up? How have ya been? It's been a while"

"I'm good," the girl starts, "I'm currently an outside hitter for the Pharmaceutical Red Rabbits"

"Oh, that's awesome!" Osamu wishes for this conversation to be over as soon as possible. He's hungry.

"Suna and I are teammates," Komori starts, "I've never heard someone use the word 'jerk' so many times when talking about someone," Atsumu clenches his fists and swears, while Osamu laughs.

"What about you, Hirugami?"

"I'm a veterinary student"

"Wait, you quit volleyball?"

"I still play from time to time with Kourai-kun. This is why we were out today, but we ran into these guys and our plans changed"

"Speaking of him, where's the little demon?" Atsumu asks and the brown-haired boy laughs at the nickname.

"He's over there," he moves his head to guide them and they all turn to find the white-haired energetic boy. He's a few meters away from them, with his hands on his hips, chest puffed, a serious expression, trying to appear as cool as possible. In front of him there's a person sitting on the grass, apparently drawing the volleyball player. Atsumu laughs at how stupid his friend looks.

"And who's that?" Osamu asks.

"Oh, that is—" Kanoka's mouth is covered by Komori before she can give away the identity of the person.

"That's a good friend of ours," they all give him weird looks, not understanding what's going on. In reality, the libero hopes that the three leave before you finish drawing Hoshiumi so you and him won't meet each other. Better said, you won't see the guy you had a crush on for the last 3 years, but refused to admit.

 _'I don't have a crush on Atsumu, I would rather eat dirt than be in a relationship with him. We are good friends, that's all,'_ you've told them more than five times, but they still didn't believe you, since you were always talking to the blonde. You do have a 3-year crush on someone, but not on him, oh, no, no, no.

Behind you, your backpack is lying down with a bunch of sketches on it, since you've pulled all of them out to find a clean file to draw on. You've put your pencil case on top of them so the wind won't blow them away, but one of them slips from under it and makes its way from there next to Osamu's foot. He picks it up and takes a glance at it.

 _Of course, it's this guy._ He assumed that he was your crush anyway, judging by how you were looking at him from the stands. He folds the paper before his nosey twin can look at it and walks towards you to hand it back to you.

"So, him, huh? Doesn't seem to be yer type," Osamu says and you snap your neck, pulling out your left headphone at the same time. You grab the paper instantly, blushing madly at being caught red-handed.

"A word about this and I'm ending you," you threaten him.

"Yer lucky I'm the one that saw it, and not Tsumu. Ya wouldn't have heard the end of it from him"

"Wait, you aren't alone?" As you turn around, you lock eyes with him, just like on that day in the gym while you were dizzy and tired. His dark-green orbs are wide open; you can't tell if he's smiling or not, due to the mask on his face.

"Korai, you can take a break!" You yell at him and he drops the act, exhaling loudly.

"Finally, my arms were about to give up. And Miya! I saw you laughing!"

You get up, putting all of your materials aside and walk towards the bench where everyone is. Your heart is beating even faster. _'Don't faint, stay calm,'_ you tell yourself.

"Why didn't ya tell me that yer back in Japan?!" Atsumu starts barking, but you roll your eyes.

"I returned when the college year started, so last month. I was busy with moving in and all of that and I simply forgot"

" _How could you_ —" he starts dramatizing, but you ignore him and walk towards Sakusa.

"Hi," you start.

"Hey," he answers simply, trying not to sound constipated, because that's how he feels. Where did you come from? What are you doing in Tokyo? Where have you been all this time?

"You've changed a bit. Your hair is shorter than before and you seem taller than the last time I saw you"

"People change over the years. You've changed too," you look more mature and healthier than at the Interhigh from your 2nd year.

"Oi, I'm not done talking!" You glare at the blonde setter. "You've been overseas for two years and ya didn't even tell me, _your best friend_ , that yer back!"

"She told me," Osamu intervenes and Atsumu falls on his knees on the ground, muttering 'betrayal' like a mad man. You facepalm yourself and sigh.

"Fine, let me make up for it. Do you have plans on the weekend?" They all answer negatively. "Perfect, then let's have a gathering at my place. I'll text you the address. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good to me!" Hoshiumi speaks.

"Well, if that's settled, then see you then. Come on, little giant, I have to finish this drawing today"

You and Hoshiumi return to the same spot after saying good-bye to the twins and Sakusa. You turn around and wave at him one more time, smiling widely.

That night he sends his cousin a text, asking him why he hasn't told him anything about you, but Komori gives him an answer he wasn't expecting.

 **[Motoya Komori]:** That's because you looked like you were about to murder everyone in the room every time someone talked about her.

He frowns at the device.

 **[Motoya Komori]:** Stop glaring at the phone, I feel shivers all over my body.

•••

When the weekend arrives, Sakusa doesn't know if he's excited or nervous. He starts the morning by brushing his teeth, going out for a run, and then returns home to take a shower and to eat breakfast. By the time he arrives, the twins are already up, Osamu is cooking and Atsumu is waiting for the food.

"Oh, yer back, Omi-Omi," the blonde starts, but Sakusa completely ignores him and goes straight to the bathroom. Atsumu then looks at his brother with a confused expression. "Did I say something wrong?"

Osamu stares at him for a second, then returns to cooking.

"And ya call yourself the smartest twin"

"Excuse me?! What's that supposed to mean?!" But his question remains unanswered. Sakusa showers in peace, even though he heard the twins' conversation. Osamu was always faster at picking up hints and reading the room. But he probably knows who you're in love with as well since he said that _'doesn't seem to be yer type'_ and maybe that's why Osamu hasn't confronted Sakusa about his feelings. Because you are not in love with **him** , but with someone else.

Apparently, you and Atsumu are very close. _Shit_. If it turns out that you have a crush on the blonde, Sakusa would rather move to the other side of the world, then see you two together.

They eat breakfast in silence. He occupies himself with college assignments, since you told them to come by at noon so you can have lunch together. The twins are out, leaving Sakusa alone in the apartment. It's not like he minds it, he's actually grateful for some peace and quiet so he can work undisturbed.

But he's back to thinking about you, about how much he has missed you and your sweet smile. He bangs his head on his desk and grunts out loudly. This is terrible.

"You okay in there?" He hears someone from the other side of the door and bolts up instantly to open it. He finds Komori standing there, smiling at him.

"How—what?" His cousin enters his room and sits down on Sakusa's bed.

"The twins called me and let me in. They said that you looked out of it. So, what's going on?" Sakusa sits back into his chair. "Is it about going to (Name)'s place? You don't have to go if you don't like her, you know that, right?"

"That's not it," Komori looks at his curly-haired relative who's playing with his fingers and refusing to look up. "I'm just really nervous"

"Don't tell me that..." Sakusa doesn't answer. "You actually have a crush on her?! Bwahahaha! I was right all these years!"

"Shut up, Motoya!"

"Look at you, you're all red! I can't believe this, hahaha, you're such a big tsundere!" Komori keeps laughing, while Sakusa wants the Earth to swallow him up. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Come on, let's dress you up in something fancy"

Komori throws him a black T-shirt with a hood and white skinny jeans, ripped, obviously. He can't even remember from where he got those clothes.

"I will look stupid, Motoya"

"Just try them on!"

And of course, right after he finishes getting changed, Atsumu opens wide the door, not knocking before and starts laughing at him. Sakusa glares at Komori, but he doesn't have time to put something else on. He wants to grab his face mask, but the libero stops him and so they leave the apartment and head out to your home.

"Are ya sure this is the place?" Atsumu asks, after they arrive at the destination. "This is a whole ass house, not some shitty college apartment!" The front gate opens and reveals you, dressed in cozy home clothes, but again, still hiding all of your body, even though it was so hot outside.

"Ah, you're here. Come in," inside your yard, they find the other three guests playing with a black dog. As soon as the animal sees Sakusa, he runs away from Hirugami, who was petting him, and starts circling the tall spiker and barking.

"Tadao! That's rude! Leave Sakusa-kun alone!" You pick up the ball of fur and he starts licking your face. Sakusa cringes in disgust. "I guess he's as big of a fan of yours as I am," you say, but immediately realize that this wasn't supposed to be said out loud. "I-I mean! I really admire you, Sakusa-kun! I've always looked up to talented spikers!"

**_Sakusa's brain short-circuits._ **

Your face is all red and Tadao doesn't help by moving his tail and staring at you. You put him on the ground and ask your guests to get inside as you go to feed him.

"(Name)," Sakusa stays behind. You hum while grabbing a handful of dry dog food to place in his bowl. "It's Kiyoomi, not Sakusa," you turn around to look at him, dumbfounded, but then give him the sweetest smile possible.

"Okay, Kiyoomi-kun"

You two soon join the other, after you go to wash your hands and face.

"Woah, this place is nice! How can you even afford this thing?" Hoshiumi asks.

"It's my brother's house. He moved out and now lives with his fiancé. Their house is closer to the hospital they both work at"

"Is everyone in your family a doctor?" Hirugami asks.

"No, only my brother. My parents are both public servants. And I'm the black sheep," you answer, with a distant tone. "Ah! I forgot to buy something to drink! I'll run to the convenience store to get something. What do you guys want?"

"Oh, I'd like some orange juice!" Kanoka answers.

"Me too!" Hoshiumi continues.

"Anyone want something else?" They shake their heads. "Okay then! You can stay in the living room and look around the paintings. Just, please don't touch the ones that are covered"

It's a weird request, but they do as you ask. Stepping inside the living room, they find a clean studio. There are buckets of paint, blank canvases of different sizes. There's a lot of lighting coming from the windows, but there's also a huge lamp in the corner. Currently on your easel sits a black painted canvas, no other color on it, probably because you've just started painting it. 

Looking around at different hanging painting, Sakusa stumbles across a shelf where your two awards from middle school and high school are. _They look a bit dusty._ And right next to them is a frame, a group picture taken on the court. He looks at Atsumu's number on his jersey and something doesn't suddenly feel right. The blonde is wearing the number one, what he wore in his 3rd year.

What? You came to the Interhigh two years ago? Komori's in the picture too! Why didn't he tell him?! Oh, wait— _'you looked like you were about to murder everyone in the room every time someone talked about her'_

They all sit down on the couch and on the arm chairs.

"Spit it out," Osamu starts, looking at his twin. "What's between you two?"

"Huh?! What do you mean?" Atsumu answers, but he can't fool his twin. "Okay, okay, stop looking at me like that!" Atsumu exhales. "At first, I was thinking of being friends with benefits"

His brother shows him a disgusted face, and Sakusa almost throws him through the window.

"Ew"

"Shut yer trap, Samu, and let me finish!" Osamu rolls his eyes. "But (Name) said that she's in love with someone and therefore not interested in this type of relationship so we became friends. And that's what we are, friends. Happy now?" Osamu's face doesn't change from the emotionless expression.

"The question is with whom she's in love," the blonde continues, eyeing Kanoka. "You must know something, Kanoka-chan"

"E-Eh? W-Why me?"

"Because my adorable (Name)—" Osamu smacks Atsumu. "Because (Name) didn't date anyone while she was away. She must be really in love with this person. So, who's he?" Atsumu has a large shit-eating grin. Sakusa just stares at them, trying to remain calm.

"W-Well, at first I assumed that it was Ushijima Wakatoshi-kun. I remember her saying one day she wished to have been born a boy so she could set for talented players such as him or you, S-Sakusa-kun," the spiker just blinks, not knowing what to say. But he can definitely feel his face starting to heat up.

"But in our last Interhigh, when I asked her if she was excited to see him, she said that she's interested in someone else," she then looks at Hirugami and Hoshiumi, "s-since you two are so close, we assumed that it was you, Miya-san"

Sakusa almost chokes on his saliva. Komori is looking at him with a sorry expression.

"What—" Atsumu jumps from his seat, but Osamu pushes him back down.

"It's not him," the other twin informs them.

"Ya saw her drawing, right? Spit it out!" The blonde says, but Osamu gives him a flat look.

"Use yer microscopic brain and think about it," it's silence for a second then Atsumu gasps, opening wide his eyes.

"Him?!" Osamu nods. That's some twins' telepathy shit right there, Sakusa thinks. "I expected her to have better taste in men than that"

"Well, tells us, genius!" Hoshiumi yells, but Atsumu sticks his tongue out.

"Nope, I'm going to let ya guys figure it out yerselfs! In the meantime, let's think about how to get them to actually start dating"

"I think that is best if we let them handle this themselves," Komori says, smiling at his cousin. Sakusa is confused.

"You guys are avoiding the real question. Why is (Name) always covering her body? I've never seen her wear a T-shirt or a pair of shorts"

"Korai-kun, that's rude!" Hirugami tells him.

"Don't act like you don't want to know as well," they all look at Kanoka. Poor girl.

"I-I don't want to talk about this behind (Name)-san's back. All I can tell you is that she was involved in a car crash"

The front door opens and their discussion ends. The rest of the evening is peaceful; you tell them about how it was to study overseas while also being in the hospital almost weekly for examinations and treatment.

That night when Sakusa goes to sleep, he only thinks about your paintings, your bright face as you talked about some finished pieces, and the feeling of emptiness the black one gave him. He makes a promise to never let go of you, now that he has encountered you again.

But when he said that to himself, he was not expecting to actually sleep in the same bed as you, after a rollercoaster of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 is here! Re-reading this, I realized that I need to clarify what everyone knows!
> 
> ○Komori: He assumed that you had a crush on Atsumu, like the other three (Kanoka, Hirugami and Hoshiumi), but after he saw you talking with Sakusa in the park, he realized it's actually his cousin. As for Sakusa, he only teased him, never actually thought that Sakusa had a crush on you, until... well...
> 
> ○Kanoka, Hirugami, Hoshiumi: After Osamu's and Atsumu's discussion, they don't know what to believe.
> 
> ○Osamu: He found you in the stands staring at Sakusa while he was playing when you came to the Interhigh in your last year of high-school. Knew from the start that Sakusa has a crush on you too, but doesn't like to interfere in other people's business.
> 
> ○Atsumu: Didn't know who the crush was, but respect you and didn't try to force it out of you. Was shocked, but not entirely surprise, that it was Sakusa. Knows that Sakusa feels them same because his brother told him after leaving Komori with Sakusa.
> 
> ○Sakusa: He assumed it is a guy only the twins and you know since you are really close to them. But Komori's words still confuse him... maybe it's actually him? ('him' as in Sakusa himself)
> 
> As for the headcanons: Sakusa's parents being doctors and Sakusa's eyes being dark-green, instead of deep-black.


	6. Heart of Glass [3] - Sakusa x Reader

After getting home, Sakusa gets a call from Komori. They said good-bye to each other less than fifteen minutes ago, what could have possibly happened in the meantime? He answers, but doesn't get to say anything as Komori starts speaking immediately.

"How's my favorite negative bastard in the world doing?" Sakusa can hear the wind from the other side of the line, which means that his cousin is still outside, probably having already parted ways with Kanoka and the other two.

"Motoya, did you call me just to insult me?" 

"Nope! Well, not entirely! But I assumed that you would be totally depressed after that conversation with the twins. And I was right! You sound pissed as hell!" Sakusa doesn't say anything, just throws himself on the bed. 

"Who..." Sakusa whispers. Komori hums, signaling that he didn't hear him. "Who's (Name) in love with? You must know... You gave me _that_ look"

Komori bursts into laughter. "Oh, man, I was sure that you wouldn't catch on. She's in love with _you_ , idiot!" 

"Don't say stuff like this only to make me feel better, Motoya," yeah, right, like that would ever happen. Like you would reciprocate his feelings after years of not talking.

"I mean it, Kiyoomi! Look, at first, just like the rest, I assumed that it was Atsumu. They were talking everyday, they were really friendly with each other and it just seemed... normal? But then, as soon as she saw you in the park, (Name)'s eyes light up. And everything made sense! All those times she asked me about you, I finally understood why!" 

"She doesn't—Wait, what? She asked about me?"

"Are you deaf or something?" Komori groans. "She came to our last Interhigh, only for a day. (Name) wasn't feeling that well at the time, her condition wasn't improving either so they had to send her overseas to get better treatment. She even took a picture with us and that's when she asked about you. And before you go off about why I haven't told you anything—"

"Yes, yes, I know. It's my fault. Keep going"

"Okay, so, she asked about you and looked really disappointed that you didn't join us. We didn't talk much while she was away, different time zones and stuff, but I swear that every time we did, she asked about you. Like what you're up to, if you joined a professional team"

"And what did you tell her?"

"The truth, _duh_. I told her that you were still as negative as ever and decided to go to college, instead of trying out for a professional team. Hmm, you didn't do that many interesting things. I thought that she was just being polite! And the same happened when I had to pick her up from the airport! Agh! I'm such an idiot, I'm sorry, Kiyoomi!"

"You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault after all," Sakusa sighs loudly, "I hope that she doesn't assume that I actually don't like her for not talking to her for three years"

"Don't worry, I don't think that's the case!"

They talk for a bit more until Komori reaches his building and hangs up. Sakusa goes to sleep, feeling like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He has a chance and he won't fuck it up this time.

•••

It is Friday and they're nearby your house when Atsumu suddenly decides that he wants to pay you a visit. Though Osamu protests and says that it is better to leave you alone to work on your drawings, Atsumu has already dialed your number and has invited himself over, bringing his brother and Sakusa as well.

You tell them to wait in the living room while you take a shower and change your clothes since you are covered in paint. This time, as they step inside, there's a strong smell inside the room. Looking at your palette, the colors placed down are bright yellow, green and black. 

The drawing you were working on is already in another room to dry up until you can go back to it, hidden away from Atsumu's curiosity. The last thing you want is the blonde setter making fun of you for your stupid little crush on Sakusa, since he is the indirect model of your drawing. Though, unknown to you, he already knows your secret.

You join them in the living room moments later in freshly clean clothes, but again, covering all of your body. Before you were wearing some shorts and a tank top, since it is so hot both inside and outside. It's June after all. 

"You're lucky that Samu and Kyoomi-kun are with you, otherwise I wouldn't have let you in"

"That's really mean!" Atsumu says and Osamu laughs at him. Sakusa just stares and is quiet. He wonders if one day you would show him your body. Not because he wants to see what's under your clothes, he could care less about your appearance, but it would mean that you have enough trust in him to expose yourself like that. 

"So, what were ya working on? Can I see it?" The blonde asks eagerly.

"No," you answer coldly. 

"Why not?!" 

"I simply don't want to show it to you," you stick your tongue out at him and get up from the couch. "But this one is done and you can finally have it," you flip through the stack of canvases, looking for a specific painting. "Here it is. I hope that you two like it"

You pick up the canvas and walk back to the couch, handing it to Atsumu. He inspects it for a second, and his grin gets wider and wider.

"Samu, look! Look at this!" He has a dumb expression when he turns to his brother and flashes the painting. The younger twin just stares at it, and then looks up at you with a soft smile.

"It looks amazing, (Name). I can't wait to hang it in our apartment"

"It's a masterpiece, Samu! Be more happy about it!" Atsumu then shoves the canvas in Sakusa's face. "This is a living proof that (Name) likes me more than she likes you, ha!" 

Sakusa opens wide his eyes, but then returns to his cold expression. He knows that Atsumu is just fooling around, but that still hurt more than it should. What if Komori is wrong? What if you _actually_ are in love with Atsumu? After all, you painted him and his brother and you did a fantastic job because the blonde looks better than in real-life. 

You smack Atsumu in the back of the head. 

"Stop being a piece of shit. Don't listen to him, Kiyoomi-kun. I actually have—" 

Atsumu's phone starts ringing, interrupting you. He picks it up from the coffee table and answers. His face slowly morphs into a horrified expression after just a few seconds.

"Oh, y-yes, I've talked with our roommate! He said that it was okay!" Sakusa raises one curios eyebrow. He doesn't remember ever agreeing on something involving the blonde. "Samu and I will be there to pick you up. Okay, bye," the setter puts the phone down after hitting end. He then runs his hands violently through his bleached hair. "I forgot!" 

"You forgot what?" Osamu asks and Atsumu gets the chills. 

"Mom and dad are coming over and are bringing Ayumi with them. _And they also want to spend the night_ ," Atsumu speaks in a shy tone.

"How could you forget something like this?"

"And just went I thought that your stupidity couldn't surprise me anymore," Sakusa comments.

"Shut yer trap, Omi-Omi! I was busy with training and it just slipped my mind, okay?!" 

"It's not okay—" 

"Stop fighting!" You break the twins apart. "How about this? You two go pick up your parents and spend time together like a family and Kiyoomi-kun can stay here" 

"Oh! That's a great idea! Thank you, (Name), you're my savior!" You glare at Atsumu. 

"Shut up, I'm not doing this for you! What do you think, Kiyoomi-kun?" Your voice goes from angry to soft in 0.3 seconds. "Of course, you can go to Komori, if you don't want to stay here"

"Motoya is out of town with the team," Sakusa sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "You own me one, Miya"

"Yes, yes! Whatever you want, Omi-Omi!" 

"Choose your words _carefully_ ," Sakusa gives him a cold look and Atsumu swallows dryly. 

"So, you're staying over?" You ask, wanting to make sure that you understood correctly.

"If that's okay with you... I don't want to bother you"

"You're not bothering me! There are a lot of empty rooms in the house and I can give you some clothes from my brother. You two seem to be the same size"

The twins leave soon and you are stuck with Sakusa for more than 12 hours. You remain in the yard for a bit as you have to feed Tadao. Neither of you says something, since you have no idea what to talk about. Sakusa goes through one hundred of different questions he wants to ask you and settles on one that's not that personal, hopefully. 

"Why didn't you move with your brother? Wouldn't it be better for you to be closer to the hospital?" You keep watching Tadao as he eats the food from his bowl.

"While I was away, I was almost every week in the hospital. I just want to live a normal student life, away from the hospital. Well, I still go there once a month for checkups" 

"Was your condition that bad?" Sakusa takes your silence as a positive answer. He wants to apologize for making you remember those dark times, but you get up and face him with a hurt expression and his words die in his throat.

"After what happened at the training camp, I guess that it finally sank in that I would never play volleyball again and that I would have to do something else with my life. I had a panic attack soon after and from there on, I always got nervous and started hyperventilating thinking about the future," your dog is now trying to climb up on your leg so you bend down to pet him. He rolls on the ground, exposing his belly for you to rub it.

That painful expression is gone, as you smile softly while playing with the animal.

"So why art?" He wants to know.

"I always enjoyed painting and drawing, but it was more like a hobby back then. Volleyball was my top priority. But since I didn't have practice anymore, I picked up drawing again. Just imagine how hard it was for me to tell my parents about it and then having to prepare a portfolio for college. All that stress didn't do good to me. Studying abroad in another language was another pain in my ass. But hey, at least I'm back in Japan, healthier than before and I can finally live a semi-normal life"

"Is this something genetic?" You rise up.

"You have a lot of question prepared, Kiyoomi-kun," he blushes madly at your words.

"I'm sorry—" you giggle and wave your hand at him.

"Hahaha, no, don't apologize! I don't mind talking about this. I thought that you didn't like me, that's all. Every time I asked Komori about you, he would always give me simple answers"

"I like you, (Name). Hanging out with you is fun. And you can also put Miya in his place," you laugh, a loud and happy noise and Sakusa melts.

"Thank you, Kiyoomi-kun! I like your presence as well. And to answer your question, yes, it's genetic. My grandfather from my dad's part has heart problems, and since girls usually take after their fathers... yeah..." a short pause followed by, "sometimes I wish I was born a boy, then maybe I wouldn't have been stuck with _this_. Maybe I would have been the professional athlete my parents always wanted to have..."

"You are perfect just the way you are, (Name)," your eyes open wide, "and your parents should be proud of you. You are really talented"

"Thanks. Would you like to try as well?"

"I haven't drawn since middle-school"

"Oh, come on," you want to grab his arm, but then remember that your hands are dirty after playing with Tadao so you stop in your tracks. Sakusa appreciates this. "It's just for fun, I won't judge you, I promise"

Sakusa accepts and soon you get back inside. You go to wash your hands and he returns to the living room. You give him a A3 paper for him to draw on while you work on a project for college. At one point he seems really lost and you ask for permission before putting his hand over his to glide the pen on the paper. He hopes that you can't feel how tense he has become over such a small gesture.

You eat dinner together and Sakusa offers to wash the dishes. You stay with him in the kitchen, telling him more about your experience overseas. He asks a question here and there and you answer without hesitation. The atmosphere makes it feel more like you two are a couple living together, rather than two... friends? Are you even friends? 

You give him a T-shirt and a pair of shorts to sleep in. Sakusa is the first one that showers. After he exits your bathroom, steam emerging together with him, you inform him that you'll do your skincare routine and then go to sleep as well. 

He is in the room you've prepared for him, sitting down on the bed. He wants to text Komori and tell him about what's going on. The libero will probably die of laughter.

_But the universe is not that kind to Sakusa._

The power suddenly goes out; the room is pitch black. He hears you screaming from the bathroom and instantly turns on the flashlight of his phone and makes his way in the dark towards you. 

"(Name), are you okay in there?" He knocks on the door, but doesn't get a response. Instead he hears something falling and breaking on the floor and so he opens the door. 

Just as he does so, the power comes back and he finds some of your skincare products on the floor, spilled and broken, together with your desktop mirror. You are sitting down in your bra and pants, holding your knees to your chest. Your whole body is shaking and you are hyperventilating. _You are having a panic attack._

Sakusa throws his phobia out the window and steps carefully inside. He puts his phone down and then wraps your arms around your small frame, holding you close to his chest. Your heart is beating as fast as the last time you were in his arms.

"It's okay, I'm here, I'm here," he reassures you. "Easy, take deep breaths" 

You two stay like this until you've calm down, your breathing returning to normal. Sakusa can perfectly see all the scars on your body as he lets go of you, but doesn't ask and doesn't stare too much. 

"I will clean this up, you should go to your room. I know that you are not comfortable with showing your body," you don't protest, probably still affected by the shock. After he's done, throwing away what was completely broken and saving what he could, he washes his hands and goes to check up on you again. He knocks on your door and this time you answer and invite him in.

You are sitting on the bed, having changed in a tank-top and a pair of shorts. The room is lit by a lamp from your nightstand, creating soft shadows on your face. He hesitates stepping further inside.

"It's okay, you've already seen them," you pat the spot next to you. Defeated, he complies and takes a sit next to you, but maintains his distance. 

"How do you feel?"

"I'm good, thanks to you. I've been afraid of the dark my whole life. Blackouts are not that common here so that's why I reacted like that. Sorry for worrying you"

"It's okay"

Silence settles between you two. Sakusa avoids at any cost to look at you. The last thing he wants is to make you feel even more self-conscious about your body. But he can tell that he messed up as you ask:

"Am I... disgusting? Do I look like a freak to you?" He snaps his neck in your direction. You are looking down with a sad expression while your arms are crossed over your chest, your nails digging into your flesh. Sakusa stops you before blood starts coming out by taking your hands into his. 

"You are beautiful, (Name). Don't let anyone tell you otherwise," you smile at him, a small smile, his words reaching you, but not being strong enough to stop your worries. 

"Thank you," he doesn't let go of your hands and you don't retreat them either. His heart is beating like crazy and his palms are starting to get sweaty, but he still doesn't move away. 

"Do you want to know what happened?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in so long, I was busy with college and working on my other two stories! We have one or two chapters left and then... yeah, I'll probably update this work once in a blue moon and the majority might only be smuts since I have... 1,2... 6! Six smuts planned, but I hate writing smut so it takes me a lot of time getting into the right headspace.


	7. Heart of Glass [4] - Sakusa x Reader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of self-harming and drugs use

"Do you want to know what happened?" The question rings in Sakusa's ears. He does, of course he does, but the thought of putting you through all the trauma again is making him hesitate. He can live for the rest of his life without knowing about this; as long as you're safe and sound, he's happy.

"You know the answer to that question already," hesitantly, Sakusa adds, "but you don't have to tell me," you look at him with a pained expression, like something is still hurting you.

"A-Ah, sorry. You're right, we're not really that close," you finally retreat your hands, placing them in your lap. Your tone changes drastically, your eyes are now fixated on the ground.

"I don't really matter to you, do I, Kiyoomi-kun? That's why—That's why you don't care if you're spending the night here or at Komori's"

Tears are now rolling down on your face, falling on your shorts and dampening the material. Sakusa's heart breaks into a million pieces. He instantly wraps you in a hug, holding you tightly against his chest.

"Never say this, ever again. You matter to me more than you know. All these years I've always wondered what you are up to"

"Then why?!" You yell at him, fisting his T-shirt desperately. "Why have you never contacted me? We were supposed to be friends, right?"

 _Friends.._. It hurts Sakusa hearing that word.

"Because I didn't know what to say. I was an edgy teenager that didn't like showing his emotions so I probably came off as ruthless every time I was around you. I probably gave you the idea that I didn't like you, sorry. Komori thought the same thing, that's why he never told me anything about you. But I did think about you a lot and I was hoping that you were okay. And as for your question, I know damn well that these scars are connected to bad memories. The last thing I want right now is to make you have another panic attack by recalling what happened"

He rubs circles on your back, hoping to calm you down. You tear yourself away, sniffling, and wipe your tears with the back of your hand.

"You don't have to act shy around me. I've told this story to thousands of doctors, after all, they had to know," you roll your arms, showing him your wrists, covered in a lot of horizontal lines. "These are from my last year in middle school. Back then, I was probably at the lowest point in my life"

Even if it's been so long, the scars don't look that old.

"My parents were fighting a lot due to financial problems. I was able to ignore them most of the time, focusing instead on the entrance exams, but when things escalated, I had panic attacks. It got to the point that my grandma had to take me to live with her. I have some on my legs too," you drag your shorts upwards, revealing the same type of scars on both thighs.

"I really thought that self-inflicted pain would solve all of my problems," you sigh. "Around that time, I started dating this guy that was two years older than me. He was the one that 'introduced' me to drugs"

 _Oh_. He remembers when you _almost_ mentioned them back at the training camp.

"I fucked up my own heart even more like that. My grandparents never found out, but my parents did. They didn't really said anything since I was in no way capable to sustain any more emotional damage"

You take a long breath just as the spiker says:

"You never seemed like this type of person. You have this aura of a good student around you"

"Hahaha, well... we all have things that we're not proud of, Kiyoomi-kun," your smile fades. "When I entered high-school, I joined the volleyball club, of course, but I barely showed up. I was out with him, obviously. All my hardwork to become the best setter was gone. I didn't really care about anything, I just wanted to get wasted and forget about my shitty family life..." You pause, a long pause, carefully selecting your words.

"It wasn't until one night, during the summer vacation that shit went down and my whole life changed..." You swallow dryly, fidgeting with your fingers. "I was coming home late at night, wasted. I don't know why I didn't call a cab or why that idiot let me leave like that. Gosh, I was so stupid," you facepalm yourself.

"Anyway, I stopped at a traffic light and while I was waiting... two cars crashed into each other in front of me and a lot of the shards flew towards me. I was a collateral victim and the most injured, since the drivers had airbags to protect them. The doctors were amazed that I didn't die. While running different tests, they found the drugs in my system so I was also in rehabilitation for a while, cleaning myself," you look at Sakusa, who's just staring with wide eyes.

"I broke up with him and returned to volleyball, trying to live a normal life. Of course, overworking myself to make up for the lost time wasn't the best idea so that's why my condition got even worse. But," your eyes shine with light, "I've got to meet you and the rest, so maybe I am not that cursed," you flash him a smile.

"How can you smile like that after everything that you've been through?"

"Well, what will I gain by being depressed over the past? It's true that I miss playing volleyball, but I also enjoy doing art. Life is not always black and white"

"You're really strong, (Name)," but _'strong'_ feels too _weak_ for Sakusa. Is there any event in his life that comes to as close as what you had been through? Maybe not. Definitely not.

"You think so? Thanks. You can go to sleep now if you want, sorry for keeping you up"

And before the spiker can process the words, they are out of his mouth. "Do you want me to stay here with you in case another blackout occurs?"

You open wide your eyes and blush madly. You look so cute, it makes Sakusa want to kiss you so bad. But at the same time, he wants to hit himself for asking this.

"S-Sure, if that's okay with you, I don't mind. I tend to sleep with my light on, so that might bother you"

"It doesn't," he answers blankly.

"Then do you want me to bring you another blanket?"

"No, it's okay, you're quite small"

"Hey! I'm not _that_ small!" You smack him playfully in the shoulder and he just smirks at you.

Moments later, you are both tucked in bed, back to back, trying to fall asleep. He had classes and practice today, he should be able to fall asleep instantly, but he feels more awake than ever. You move around a few times. After what feels like hours for him, he hears your breath evening.

He turns around and is met with your soft expression, your lashes casting shadows over your cheeks. Your hair is already a bit messy, but you still look as gorgeous as ever. Sakusa reaches over to the nightstand and turns off your lamp, finally falling asleep as well.

He decides to no longer beat the ever living shit out of Atsumu, but to still give him a punishment for being a fucking idiot.

•••

Sakusa wakes up many hours later, from what feels like the best sleep of his life. The light in your room is dim, meaning that it's still pretty early in the morning. At this time, he should be out on his morning jog with Atsumu.

But there's no way he's leaving the comfort of your bed, or the warmth in his arms that carries him back to sleep.

_Wait, what?_

The other half of Sakusa's brain wakes up and so he looks down to find you curled up next to him, your head resting on his chest. It is like you were made to stay there, molded to fit perfectly. He smiles softly and gingerly wraps his arm around you, bringing you closer to him.

With his long and lithe fingers, he pushes aside some strands of your hair from your forehead and presses his lips on your skin gently, since he is afraid of waking you up.

"Only if you know how much I love you," Sakusa whispers softly, squeezing you a bit tighter. Your head moves upwards as you flutter your eyes open, sleep still present as they're half-lidded.

"Then how about you tell me?" You say in a sleepy tone, grinning at him and at his flustered face as you get up, resting your body on your elbows.

"For how long have you been awake?"

"Oh, I woke up just before you kissed my forehead. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting you to be such a cuddling person, Kiyoomi-kun," you would never dare to tease **the** Sakusa Kiyoomi, Itachiyama Institute's former ace, but you aren't fully awake so your brain isn't thinking that clearly. Especially after he indirectly confessed to you.

"No, no, you got it wrong—" Right before he can find excuses, you place your hand over his mouth and kiss it, silencing him completely. Oh, you would have loved to kiss his actual lips, but none of you has brushed their teeth yet. You just know that this has to be one of his pet peeves.

You flash him a wide grin, getting out of bed, looking at him over your shoulder as you open the door.

"I have a spare toothbrush for you. Let's go brush our teeth and afterwards you can tell me _how_ much you love me," you wink at him and leave the room. Sakusa remains there for a few seconds, processing everything that just happened, before following you to the same bathroom in which the incident from last night happened.

You're already brushing your teeth as he gets inside. You hand him, as you promised, a spare toothbrush, sealed.

"Woah, your hair is a mess," you say, after spitting what you had in your mouth, as he steps in front of the mirror. And it's true, his curly hair is all over the place, flat on the side on which he slept on and all up and tangled on the other. He really needs to get a new haircut.

You run your hand through his locks, trying to arrange it in a way that looks decent. Sakusa just lets you, enjoying the feeling. As you're done with the styling, he's also done with brushing his teeth, so he spits everything in the sink, rinses with water and spits again.

"What do you want for breakfast, Kiyoomi-kun?" You ask in a cheerful tone, already at the door.

"(Name), I am serious about what I said. I've been in love with you ever since the training camp"

"Well, that means that I win"

"Wait, wha—" and you escape into the hallway, making your way to the kitchen. "(Name), wait!" Sakusa yells after you, following you yet again.

It has always been like this: He is chasing you, he almost gets you and then you run away again. But not this time, he's going to grab your hand and keep you as close to him as possible.

"What do you mean that you win?" He asks, finally catching up with you as you enter the kitchen.

"Sit down and I'll explain. Why the rush? We have all day for ourselves," Sakusa pouts at you and you giggle at him.

"Do you want milk and cereals? I don't know what athletes eat for breakfast to be honest"

"I don't eat until I come back from my morning run, but my equipment is at home and I don't want to disturb the twins and their family"

"Since when are you so considerate of Atsumu?" You ask, grabbing the milk from the fridge as Sakusa watches you move around.

"I'm not. I'm in this whole mess because of him and the bleach that reached his brain. But Osamu is nicer. He cooks really well and scolds Atsumu when I'm too tired to do it myself," you laugh at his remark.

"So, want anything?"

"Give me a banana. Your cereals have too much sugar in them, I can't eat that," you hand him the fruit, sitting down at the table as well, after you're done preparing your own meal.

"So, what did you mean?"

"I've been in love with you since the Interhigh. Well, the one I actually took part in," you answer with your mouth full and you see Sakusa cringe at you. And so you swallow and continue to explain. "I came to your match against Ushijima. I was a huge fangirl at the time. A left handed spiker? And also one of the three aces in the country? He was every setter's dream"

Sakusa frowns harshly at your words and it only makes you poke his cheek with your finger.

"Don't make that face, otherwise I will stop talking. As I was saying, I was there for _him_ , but then I saw you bending your wrists in a weird way during the warm-up exercises, so I got interested in you. I could tell, as you were playing, that your spike had a nasty spin. Well, maybe I could've seen it better if I was on court, but oh well, I was born a woman after all"

"So like this?" He bends his wrist until his fingers are almost flat on his forearm.

"Woah, it looks even weirder up close. It doesn't hurt you or anything?"

"No, I was born like this. Now keep going, I want to hear the rest," he hopes that you can't notice it, but the tips of his ears are red from embarrassment. He got different opinions on his bendy wrists before, but no one looked at them with such enthusiasm as you did moments ago.

"After that, I went to see all of your matches and I guess that I simply fell for you? You are hot and you're good at volleyball. When I saw you at the training camp, I thought that I would finally be able to strike a conversation with you, but then _that_ happened and yeah..." a short pause followed by, "I've seen your other matches on TV in the 3rd year. I wanted to take a picture with all of you, but Komori said that you had already left so I didn't want to bother you. Now, you," you grin at him devilishly, starting to eat again.

"Started at the training camp. You were quite the unusual player there. While I was carrying you, your heart was beating really fast. It scared me, to be honest"

"Hahaha, yeah, well, I scared myself as well. That moment feels like forever ago. I think all that time in the hospital messed with my perception of time"

"Are you okay now?" He asks, taking the last bite from his banana, as you shove another spoon of milk and cereals in your already full mouth. He waits for you to swallow everything.

"I'm... _better_. I'm no longer stressed about a lot of things so my heart can take a break, but I'll never be fully healed. I'll just have to learn how to live with this problem eventually," you get up to place your bowl in the sink. "Trash's over there"

You finally check the time on the clock on the wall.

"Is it that early?! No wonder I'm still sleepy!"

"Aren't you going to wash that?"

"Hell, no! I'm going back to bed and you're coming with me! Come on, let's go!" You grab him by the wrist, but Sakusa pulls you back, picking you up and slamming you on the kitchen counter.

His lips instantly find yours, as he starts kissing you sweet and lovingly at first, but then it turns into a full make out session, his tongue exploring your mouth eagerly.

"We can—" you say between kisses, but he doesn't let you talk, as puts his hand behind your head, pulling you deeper into the kiss. You stop only when you feel like you can't breathe, softly exhaling, as your lips are still connected by a string of saliva.

"Someone sure couldn't wait until we got to the bedroom"

"Shut up"

"You didn't even ask me if I want to date you, Kiyoomi-kun"

"I don't have to. You are mine and mine only," you giggle at him as you get down, leaving the kitchen for the comfort of your bed.

"Oh, yeah, I have something to show you," you say as you're passing by a room right next to your kitchen. Sakusa raises a curious brow as you open the door.

Stepping inside, he's hit in the face by the strong scent of paint. The room is full with paintings, scattered all over the place.

"I use this room to let my paintings dry since the living-room is too small for that. I also can't stand the smell of oils"

You look around, searching for something and pick up a canvas, walking towards Sakusa with a proud smile.

"I made this for you. Actually, I made portraits like this for everyone else, so this one is not that special, but I'm working on another one," you hand it to him as you go back to searching.

It's not bigger than the one you did for the twins. Sakusa finds himself staring at a drawing of himself. It's the high-school version of him, judging by his hairstyle. Jeez, was his hair that big of a mess? No wonder he got a brush stuck in there while he tried to comb it.

"This is what I was working on yesterday when you guys came over," in your hands it's a canvas twice the size of the one he's holding. It's him in high-school again, but this time he's on the court in mid-air, ready to hit a spike.

"I sketched this one in my notebook in our last year of high school when I came to the Interhigh. It's not done yet"

"I can't wait to see it finished then," he smiles at you and you return the gesture, placing the canvas back to its spot.

"You can take that one with you. It's yours after all"

You're back in the bed and under the blanket a few moments later, wrapped around in each other's arms with legs intertwined. Sakusa's head is on your chest, listening. The rhythm is still faster than the average, but not even as close to how it was that day.

Sakusa is lulled to sleep by your heartbeats and the warmth of your body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have one more chapter left of this story, but that one is gonna be pretty angsty (and way shorter), so you don't have to read it if that's not your cup of tea.
> 
> After Heart of Glass, I'll probably put this work back 'on hold', since my focus will be on 'Double U' and 'Nobody But You'. I can't update 3 works weekly, I'm sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> If there are any mistakes with my English, please tell me so I can correct them.


End file.
